Click the above link to bookmark RSM for future visits!
Netscape Users
Pres CTRL+D to booksmark RSM!
Paid Adverisement
ringsideMAYHEM >> News Article
Mike Shannon's Raw Review (Nov. 30, 2009) Written by Mike Shannon on 11/30/09
WWE RAW (November 30, 2009)
-So Verne F'n Troyer is hosting tonight, which probably means Hornswoggle will be prominently featured, which will piss me off, which will result in massive amounts of cursing and midget jokes. You've been warned....
-LIVE from Baltimore, MD (oh, how I hate you...so so much)
-By the way, I would be remiss if I did not mention Alexander Ovechkin's major knee injury that was suffered when he tried to administer a dirty knee-on-knee hit to another player. He received a game misconduct and then was taken to the dressing room in shame. I hope his entire knee is torn to shreds and he is never the same again. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy...
-Jerishow kick us off and proclaim their superiority to DX due to all the titles they have won between them. Is winning the WCW world title really that big of an accomplishment when DAVID ARQUETTE can claim the same thing? More heel bravado finally draws out DX, who claim that the people love them because they make history and take life by the throat. Is that really what all this crotch chopping has been about? Living life to it's fullest? Wow...that's so deep....man.
-Anyways, DX says if they win they'll also get Jericho off of Raw, which Y2J believes will kill the ratings. I think the creative team is doing a good job of that themselves, Chris. HHH challenges Jericho to match tonight with the loser being stuck in a handicap match next week.
-By the way, how is no one acknowledging KURRGAN in the new Sherlock Holmes movie?
Melina & Gail Kim vs. Maryse & Jillian Hall Maryse should seriously never be allowed to speak ever again...ever. Maryse runs away and that allows Jillian to roll up Melina for two, but she quickly gets her ass kicked and Kim hits a missile dropkick for two, broken by Maryse. Jillian hooks a backbreaker for two then brings in Maryse who taunts Melina and enables Gail to hit a neckbreaker. Hot tag to Melina, who beats Maryse's ass in a girly way. Melina misses her sunset flip and Maryse hits the DDT for the win.
Winners: Maryse & Jillian Hall
-Another week, another boring Divas match *1/4.
Sheamus vs. Santino Marella Sheamus's push makes much more sense now I found out he's HHH's workout buddy. Santino is upset that Sheamus did not mention him during his promo and he's jealous of Santino's pigmented skin. Of course, Sheamus destroys him with his usual power stuff before the Razor's Edge. He plows Santino through a table set up in the corner because he's STRONG!!!
No Contest
-Squash of course. * By the way, that move has been and always will be the Razor's Edge no matter what new name they try and give it.
-Backstage, Verne Troyer finally makes a appearance 45 minutes in when he ignores Jerishow.
-That TLC PPV promo was the weirdest thing ever...basically the announcer said in a very sing-song voice "It's all legal at TLC" like he was selling a blender or something. Weird.
-Verne Troyer, looking beyond creepy, joins us to call the Miz a jerk. Miz, of course, does not like being called a jerk by someone resembling a Cabbage Patch Doll so he comes out to make short jokes. Miz threatens to punt Troyer across the arena, which draws out Mark Henry to defend the honor of midget movie stars everywhere. If you don't know what the next match will be, please go away. Troyer is awful.
Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton I smell a screwjob coming a mile away here. Sure enough, Cody Rhodes jumps Kofi on the way to the ring and beats the hell out him. Kingston, because he's a face, wants to continue of course. Orton's music hits but then Ted DiBiase jumps Kofi from behind and goes after the knee in a very smart attack. Does Kofi still want the match? OF COURSE HE DOES!!
You have balls...I like balls.
Orton hits the ring and destroys Kofi in methodical fashion as Legacy tries to do their best Four Horseman impression. Except, if this were the Horsemen, they would have made sure a cage lowered and then broken both of Kofi's ankles. Kofi tries to fight back but a swift kick to the knee and an RKO ends that quickly.
Winner: Randy Orton
-Obviously more of an angle than a match and a pretty good one at that. ** as you knew you weren't getting this match for free. Post-match, Orton hits the hangman's DDT but does from the TOP ROPE. Kofi is dead.
-Backstage, Mark Henry is worried about not having a personality so MVP has him grind with Jillian Hall but he accidentally crushes her because he's FAT. Get it?
-John Cena hits the ring PMSing because Sheamus put him through a table. He wants the World title match to happen TONIGHT. However, he gets the returning Carlito instead. He says how the whole locker room is sick of Cena and everyone is hoping Sheamus beats him. This makes Cena's PMS rage even further so he beats Carlito up and chucks him to the outside. Sheamus walks out and Cena is all like "bring it" and Sheamus is all like "nuh uh". So there.
-After a commercial, Verne and MVP bring out Mark Henry who...freestyle raps?
The Miz vs. Mark Henry Miz hammers away in the corner but gets overpowered quickly and clotheslined down. Miz gets smart and attacks the knee then adds a kick to the face for two. Miz hits his clothesline in the corner but gets caught coming off the top and the World's Strongest Slam gets the win.
Winner: Mark Henry
-Awful quick but, with Mark Henry, the shorter the better. *1/4 Verne brings out the skanks to celebrate.
-YOUR guest host next week hails from Pittsburgh, PA...Mark Cuban.
-Backstage, Hornswoggle (with subtitles) lets DX know that this terrible storyline will continue.
Chris Jericho vs. HHH HBK is doing commentary to save the world from Michael Cole again. Jericho tries to run away but HHH sends him back into the ring as the Big Show joins us at ringside. This allows Jericho to take control but WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK!!!
We're back with HHH pounding away in the corner but he takes his token bump over the corner to the floor as we reveal that Big Show is on commentary now as well. HHH goes hard into the ring steps and gets choked out in the corner. Dropkick to the head gets two and we hit the chinlock. HHH comes back with a high knee and a facebuster for two. Blind charge misses however and Y2J tries the Walls but it's a no go so he hits an enzuigiri instead for two.
Bulldog hits but the Lionsault only hits knees, but Jericho still manages to counter the Pedigree for two. They have a slugfest, won by Hunter, who takes Jericho's head off with a clothesline for two. Pedigree attempt is countered to a DDT by Y2J for two, but he runs into a spinebuster for another near fall. Big Show decides this is enough and he gets rid of Shawn then KOs HHH with the PUNCH OF DOOM.
The referee tosses Show from ringside so Shawn connects with Sweet Chin Music on Jericho but now he also gets ejected. They exchange finisher reversals, ending with Hunter kicking out of the Walls and rolling Jericho up for the win.
Winner: HHH
-Pretty good main event with a ton of near falls and nice spot with Show and HBK. I approve. ***
Final Word Pretty stagnant episode this week with not a whole lot going on. The wrestling kinda blew as well, so let's hope they have something better next week for the final build to the TLC PPV.
