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It's time for another "Product Review". When I started this over at my MySpace page it was a way to write on the ole blog about not only merchandise that I bought but also movies that I had recently seen. Now it has been transformed into something that when I find something that may be Pop Culture & Pro Wrestling related. Then I have to see it and review it for you all.

This time around its a first for me. My first ever TNA "Product Review". This item is the latest release from them. So let's check out...

Product Review: "Emergence: The Music of TNA Wrestling".

"Emergence: The Music of TNA Wrestling" is TNA's latest music CD. It is their fifth overall counting the NWA TNA CD. This one is not out in stores yet so I had to arrange a way for myself to get a copy.

Let's get down to the track listings & reviews.

1. "Cross The Line" by AD/AM (2008-2009 TNA Impact TV Theme): A very short song. As a TV theme it basically does as it was created, but as a stand-along song it is WAY repetitive. Repetitive to the point that it becomes bad.

2. "Chic Chic Bang Bang" (Mick Foley's Theme Music): This song has a very strong beginning. Then it goes downhill from here. Like the previous song this is also repetitive as well. But in this case it hides itself well with some very catchy rhythm in the song. This song is also set up to be a "wink" to the fans meaning that this song has lyrics that respects us the fans by mentioning "Have A Nice Day" (Mankind's Catch Phrase) and of course the "Bang Bang" (Cactus Jack's Catch Phrase).

3. "The Boss" (Bobby Lashley's Theme Music): I hope you like revving engines because this song has a LOT of them. It's a pretty mediocre song.

4. "5150" by F.I.L.T.H.E.E. (Homicide's Theme Music): To me it sounds like they recycled the old LAX theme and turned it into Homicide's theme. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. NEXT!

5. "Broken" by Goldy Locks (Tara's Theme Music): Yes the former TNA Knockout Goldy Locks is now a musician. Hrm... Tara MIGHT kill me when I review this song, not the first time she has tried though. Here's the reason. Tara likes her theme music. Me? Not so much. In the beginning this song has an "Evanessence" like quality so for those that like or hate them take it for what it is worth, while I don't like "Evanessence" that much. But the annoying part is the whole "Broken, Broken" part of the song. In the beginning its okay but when Goldy Locks is singing and all of a sudden there's a "Broken, Broken" part of the song that pops up while Goldy Locks is singing. Real pain in the ass when your trying to listen to the lyrics of the songs. Overall this song is borderline bad.

6. The British Invasion (The British Invasion's Theme Music): Just a stand alone instrumental song. In this case not a bad piece. Its not great or anything but the previous songs on the CD makes it a great song.

7. "Te Gusta O No!!" (Hernandez' Theme Music): The beginning of the song has so much potential. This song has the feel of a Carlos Santana song. OK good thing. Then we hear the actual lyrics, or in this case LYRIC! I have heard repetitive songs before but this is WAY ridiculous! It was like whomever wrote or produced this song didn't even try! This song is complete garbage!

8. "Angel On My Shoulder" (The Beautiful People's Theme Music): Never liked their theme when it usually aired. So listening to it as a stand along song. Still do not like it. Feels like a guitar exercise. There's nothing there. It is a very "blah" song.

9. "Nation Of Violence" (Samoa Joe's Theme Music): Re-worked Samoa Joe's old theme music and turned it into a rap song. It is a pretty short song but the rap and everything else mixed together makes it a good song. Only complaint I have is that it should have been longer.

10. "Motorcity" (The Motor City Machine Guns' Theme Music): If I took this song away from this CD then this song would be your a-typical rock song with nothing good or bad about it. But after listening to the rest of the songs on the CD so far, this song is AWESOME! I'm serious. Listen to this song alone and not a part of this CD you have yourself a decent song that you can rock to but it's an average song. When you put this song on this CD with the other awful songs on it then this song looks & sounds like a freaking Metallica song. Good music.

11. "Main Event Mafia" (The Main Event Mafia's Theme Music): "The Main Event Mafia" may be no more, well except if your Scott Steiner, but the song is still alive & kicking. When I first heard it, the song sounded like something interesting because it had a good beginning. It's a stand alone instrumental that flows pretty well and it is good to listen to. I recommend this song.

12. "Take A Fall" (Beer Money, Inc's Theme Music): Its another one of those repetitive songs that has been scattered all over this CD for awhile now. Yet it is a repetitive song that is pretty decent. It hides this fact pretty well by making it a Country Song. I don't know any of you out there reading this but I find Country Music to be QUITE repetitive. The old joke of a Country Song is that if you play any Country Song backwards then the guy gets his girl back, his beer mug is full, his truck is running, his dog is alive, and so on and so on. It is an OK song.

13. "Catholi-Funk" ("The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero's Theme Music): Instrumental song that is quite honestly...funky! Funky like a Monkey! Weird title for a song though but I guess it fits since Dinero is supposed to be a Street Pimp/Minister. I like this song a lot and I think this is the best track on the CD.

14. "Coming Alive" (Suicide's Theme Music): WOW! That was the first thought that came to my mind when I heard it. Not "WOW!" as in "this song is awesome." But "WOW!" as in "did whoever write this song was on acid or something?!?" This song sounds like one of those bad 1980's TV Cartoon on a major drug trip. To prove my point here's a YouTube Video of one of those bad 1980s Cartoons. "Hulk Hogan's Rock N' Wrestling"


Okay. Now that you had seen it go listen to Suicide's theme again. Am I right to assume that this song is on a level of crappiness never heard before musically speaking? I have heard some bad songs musically, some of them come from someone named "Lady GaGa", and I have heard some bad Wrestling themes. But this song I think takes the prize as the "Worst Entrance Music Ever!" Congratulations TNA! You went to a level of awfulness never seen before!

Overall: Musically speaking it fits the Raging_Demons rule of "If at least 1/3rd of the CD has good songs then buy it." In this instance most of the songs on this CD are pretty bad. I recommend buying it for your Hardcore TNA "Mark" fans because most of the time they act like morons in the first place so they would like the CD. As a stand alone CD you can live without buying it. If you want to get only the individual songs from the CD I recommend The British Invasion Theme & the themes starting from Samoa Joe's theme to D'Angelo Dinero's themes, the rest of the songs should be avoided at all costs!

"Emergence: The Music of TNA Wrestling" can only be purchased so far by buying it online at ShopTNA.com or by downloading the CD from ITunes. If you want to be cheap go to ShopTNA.com to download the individual tracks because they are priced at 89 cents per song compared to the ITunes price of 99 cents per song and that's not bad of a bargain.

Before I go I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. I just finished my Research Paper so I'm taking some time off by vegging out, playing some "Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce", & getting ready for the next column. SPOILERS for "The Marine 2" starring Ted DiBiase Jr.! Not what I call a great way to end the year.



Until next time. (right click it).
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