Click the above link to bookmark RSM for future visits!
Netscape Users
Pres CTRL+D to booksmark RSM!
Paid Adverisement
ringsideMAYHEM >> News Article
Mike Shannon's Raw Review (Jan. 4, 2010) Written by Mike Shannon on 01/04/10
WWE RAW (January 4, 2009)
-Well, Comcast decided to accidentally cancel my service last Monday because a stupid technician did not do his job properly. So, to make it up to my dozens (AND DOZENS~!) of readers, I am reviewing Raw and TNA Impact. Raw will be finished first (obviously since you are reading this now) followed closely by Impact. No thanks necessary, but monetary donations are appreciated.
-I'll start off by saying that this is probably the most excited I've been for a Monday night in about 8 or 9 years, so each company better not blow it.
-WWE is hoping to cut the legs out of TNA right out of the gates by bringing back Bret "The Hitman" Hart, last seen in a WWE ring in 1997. While younger fans might not have a clue who he is and therefore not care, this is huge for the 21-35 demographic, in which WWE relies heavily on for DVD sales, merchandise, and ticket sales. Strangely enough, they still maintain that TV-PG rating...hmmmmm.
My friend Lee = Stunned
-Of course, a Bret Hart video package kicks us off highlighting the "Bret screwed Bret" line. WE WANT BRET! WE WANT BRET! WE WANT BRET!
-Bret Hart kicks off Raw and quite honestly that's something that I NEVER thought I would type...EVER. He thanks everyone for not forgetting him and reminisces about winning the King of the Ring in 1993 and getting jumped by Lawler. He calls out Shawn Michaels right away and why not? Might as well do it while Hogan is standing in TNA's ring.
Bret asks for a truce, but HBK tells him he deserved what happened to him back in 1997. However, he also talks about WrestleMania XII and the Iron Man Match as the crowd actually LISTENS during a promo in WWE for the first time in about 6 years. Bret agrees, saying that they shouldn't define their careers by Survivor Series and they shake hands. Shawn teases a Sweet Chin Music but instead gives him a hug. Bret calls out Vince next, but no one answers.
-OK, some thoughts on that: That was NOT the right thing to do because the ONLY reason people wanted Bret Hart to come back is to confront Shawn Michaels. I know Vince McMahon thinks he's this huge draw as a heel and everyone wants to see Bret vs. Vince but WE DON'T! We want to see Bret vs. Shawn, not Bret vs. Vince McMahon. It is great to see Bret back, but a hug? Seriously people, this is wrestling not the f***
ing Barney Show. People hit people with chairs and take revenge, they don't f***
ing hug.
Once again, the chemicals have destroyed his brain cells
-Backstage, Vince will talk to Bret on his own terms.
Divas Tournament Maryse vs. Brie Bella Melina injured her knee at a house show, so we get a tournament. Yay, more women's matches. I've already lost interest in this show, which means I'm sure some other people have already flipped to TNA. Maryse stalls to start but Brie catches her with awful punches in the corner and hair tosses. Jobber dropkick causes Maryse to bail and Nikki runs her into the table. Back inside, a sloppy sequence ends with a near fall for Maryse. Nikki switches places with Brie, but it does nothing as Maryse simply hits a DDT and pins her to advance.
Winner: Maryse
-How f'n stupid is Nikki Bella to just lay there and allow herself to get kicked and DDTed after switching? Awful. 1/2*
-The Miz is out to hit on Maryse and watch the next #1 contender's match.
US Title #1 Contender's Match MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. Mark Henry They take a goddamn commercial break during entrances and come back with Henry laid out side and Carlito in control. Piss poor. Swagger hits a powerslam for two, saved by MVP, so Swagger gives him a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Swagger avalanches Carlito in the corner, but Henry comes back and dominates. Henry traps Carlito in a bearhug but Swagger breaks it up. Mark tries something that is supposed to be Torture Rack, but MVP dumps him again. MVP tosses Carlito into Swagger's crotch and hits the Playmaker for the win.
Winner: MVP
-Mark Henry is useless **. An MVP win over 3 midcarders really doesn't get me excited and they would be nuts to take the title off of Miz anyways.
-Backstage, Chris Jericho visits Bret Hart wants him to be the special guest referee for Jerishow's match with DX and screw them over. Bret, however, is our squeaky clean babyface once again and makes fun of him.
-Still backstage, HHH and Hornswoggle plug action figures. Seriously, this shit is so f***
ing stupid. HBK pops in and HHH basically blows off the Bret Hart thing, annoying me further. Santino arrives, playing Chris Jericho, and gets punked out.
-OK enough. This ENTIRE show so far should have been focusing on "what will Bret Hart do when he sees Shawn Michaels" and it should have been drawn out the whole 2 hours. This was the storyline that everyone is tuning in to see, not some stupid f***
ing midget skit and waiting once again for Vince McMahon to grace us with his presence.
WWE Unified Tag Titles DX vs. Jerishow Jericho is booted off of Raw if they lose. Shawn hammers away on Show and DX tries a double team but Show suplexes them both and WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK!!!
We return with HHH hitting a facebuster on Big Show, but he runs into a sidewalk slam and takes a legdrop (hmmmm...) for two. Jericho mocks Hogan with the "hand to the ear" pose before locking on a sleeper. You sly dog, Chris. HHH fights out and hits a spinebuster for the double KO but the hot tag is cut off by the Big Show. Show tries the Vader Bomb but it misses and this time the hot tag to Shawn is completed and he cleans house on Big Show. Flying elbow is stopped by Jericho, but Hornswoggle runs in and siting on Show. OK? That actually gets two. What a joke.
Shawn tunes up the band...
but this time Shawn is stopped with a chokeslam from Show, but ti only gets two. Jericho comes in but can't get the Walls locked on, so HHH tags in and hits the Pedigree, but Big Show breaks it at two. Pedigree for Big Show gets rid of him, but Jericho sneaks in and shoves HHH into HBK for a rollup and a nice near fall. Codebreaker on HHH but Jericho is very slow to cover and Shawn is able to break it at two.
Hornswoggle comes in yet and gets blasted in the head by Jericho, thank God. He locks the Walls on Jericho, but Shawn hits the superkick with the referees back turned and that's enough for the win.
Winners and STILL Champions: DX
-A very good TV match, but Hornswoggle's involvement brings it down a few pegs because it was unnecessary and didn't fit into the story at all. Still, it had a good deal of hot near falls and the crowd was into it. ***1/4
-Jericho gets the "na na na na hey hey goodbye" send-off, which makes the Raw roster that much worse.
-Backstage, Randy Orton tells Vince McMahon he'll take out Bret Hart for him if he gets #30 in the Royal Rumble. Vince slams the door in his face. Legacy confronts Orton and tells him if he doesn't beat Kofi tonight, he's kicked out of the stable. Bad night for Orton.
-Next week's guest host: Mike Tyson, the baddest man on the planet (in 1989).
-Sheamus is out to say Cena is old news and wants a new challenger. Evan Bourne answers that challenge and we have the ECW trademarked impromptu match. Sheamus says if Bourne wins tonight, he'll get a world title shot at the Royal Rumble.
Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne Bourne attacks with kicks to the thigh right away and hits Air Bourne, but it barely gets two. Bad sign, Evan. Bourne comes off the top with a body press but gets caught and slammed. Running clothesline allows Sheamus to hit the running pump kick and the Razor's Edge for the win.
Winner: Sheamus
-Yep, Bourne's nothing but Barry Horowitz now. *1/4
"Hey, at least I won once in awhile."
-Nice little tribute to Dr. Death Steve Williams...RIP.
Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton Kofi starts off by displaying how high he can jump with leapfrogs and the like, then clotheslines Orton to the outside in front of Legacy. Back in, Orton tries the Hangman's DDT but Randy gets dumped to the outside again and we go to break once more...
We're back on Monday Night Fail with Orton rocking (what else?) a devastating chinlock. Orton stomps away in the corner before guillotining Kofi on the bottom rope for two and then going back to that career-killing chinlock. Kofi comes back with a cross body off the ropes for the double KO, but Kofi mounts the comeback. Ghana legsweep sets up the Boom Drop, but Orton bails. Kofi follows with a dive to the outside and rolls him back in to hit a high cross body for two.
RKO attempt is countered into the SOS, but Orton kicks out at two. Another RKO is countered, but Orton blocks Trouble in Paradise and this time the RKO hits for the win.
Winner: Randy Orton
-Randy Orton basically just bores the shit out of me. He's technically fine, but offers nothing else **3/4. I am so done with this feud as Kofi is not jumping anywhere and seems destined to be shuffled back to the midcard courtesy of Orton's heat killing wrestling and bad booking.
Main Event Interview Vince comes out and talks about Mike Tyson hosting Raw before Bret makes his entrance. Vince still thinks Bret screwed Bret and wants Hart to apologize. Bret disagrees, so Vince switches tactics and says Bret was a great wrestler and personally nominates Stu Hart for the WWE Hall of Fame. Vince thanks him for his wrestling service and they shake hands.
Vince, since he think he's the main event on this show, kicks Bret in the balls and walks off.
Final Word So Vince did what he always does when he's handed a huge angle that writes itself...he inserts himself in it and it bombs like the f***
ing Hindenburg. Notice how the crowd was smoking hot for Bret at the beginning of the show, but once he realized that HBK-Bret wasn't happening and they were being force-fed Vince-Bret, they stopped caring. Congrats Vince, you just convinced people to start watching TNA , unless this angle gets SUPREMELY better next week, I might be done as well.
