TNA Impact! (January 14, 2010)

[b]by: Mike Shannon (DLman91@hotmail.com)[/b]

-So I figured I might as well stay on top of this show if the (rumored) move to Monday night actually occurs. The last TNA show got what I would call "mixed reviews" but it drew the highest rating in the history of the company, so that's definitely a success. Whether or not they can build on that success is a whole different story.

-For the record, this show actually scored a 1.26 which is down from the Monday night 1.5 but still MUCH higher than the 0.7 the Thursday night show drew previously. Yes, it's an increase and a Monday night time slot could only help them. Considering their Monday night show outdrew the UFC, they'd be nuts not to try it.

-I have avoided all spoilers on this show as to remain neutral...oh the dedication I have....


Generation Me vs. Motor City Machineguns
Generation Me (made up of real life brothers Matt and Nick Jackson) is actually a pretty well-traveled tag team known as the Young Bucks, who have experience in WWE and ROH. Sabin shows off his quickness with Matt, although Tenay quickly lets me know that Generation Me's members are known as Max and Jeremy. God forbid you keep someone's name so I can keep my thoughts straight.

So Max gets double teamed and Jeremy makes the mistake of jumping in and getting kicked in the face. Shelly goes to the chinlock to slow things down and runs Max into the corner while Scott Hall and Waltman arrive. Max comes back with a top rope neckbreaker on Sabin and gets the hot tag to Jeremy who impressively cleans house on the Guns. Asai moonsault takes out Shelly and he comes back in the ring with a springboard facebuster for two. Damn.

Sabin returns for justice but runs into a superkick and Generation Me hits a nice looking double-team neckbreaker for two. Sabin gets the tag to Shelly, who hits a thrust kick off the top but runs into a spear. Generation Me hits a double splash for two but Sabin gets rid of Jeremy and the Machineguns their own double-team front powerslam for two. Sabin splats on the floor on a failed plancha, taking him out of the match. Generation Me follows up in impressive fashion with Jeremy hitting a 450 splash and Max quickly following with a moonsault and that's good enough for the win.
Winners: Generation Me

-A great debut for Generation Me and great way to get them over for the TNA audience. The Machineguns sold like nuts for them and made them look like a million bucks. ***1/2

-Backstage, the Nasty Boys have been shitting in Team 3D's locker room.

-Hulk Hogan promises a huge name will debut at Genesis on Sunday.




This isn't true at all, but I'm starting the rumor anyways



-Kurt Angle hits the ring to proclaim AJ Styles the better man, but that won't be true this Sunday...no sir. Styles joins us to say Angle better win because this is his last shot in 2010. They do the very manly HUG OF MUTUAL RESPECT and there's your main event build.

-As Tazz and Tenay are running down the card, the Masked Man (trademark TNA) attacks AJ in the ring and reveals himself to be Tyson Tomko....meh, that does nothing for me.

-Backstage, Bubba the Nepotism Sponge is with the former nWo (now known as "The Band" in one of the worst wrestling names ever) and wants to know where Mick Foley is but they won't help him out.





30 years old guys....30 years


The Beautiful People vs. Hamada & Awesome Kong
I could watch the Beautiful People's entrance all...day...long. Angelina Love is sitting ringside, which does not seem to please Lacey Von Erich. Velvet Skye splashes Hamada in the corner and follows with a facebuster for two. The heels try to double-team Hamada, but they showboat too long and Hamada is able to tag Kong. She quickly destroys the Silicone People and hits the Awesome Bomb on Madison Rayne for the win.
Winners: Hamada & Awesome Kong

-Short and basic *1/2. Post-match, Angelina Love attacks her former teammates and lets Velvet Skye know shes pissed about being replaced.




I wouldn't push her out of bed for eating crackers


-Backstage, AJ Styles wants Tomko TONIGHT! Bischoff makes him put the title on the line and we got our main event.

-After a break, Bischoff is really pissed that JB let Foley in the building last week. Beer Money interrupts and is really upset about getting jumped from behind. They want Hall and Nash at Genesis and Bischoff STEALS THEIR BEER! Oh it's on now, bitch.

Lethal Consequences vs. Team 3D
Before we get a match, Bobby Lashley attacks and lays out Lethal Consequences. Kristal Lashley promises the whole roster will be destroyed until she gets her meeting with Hulk Hogan. Team 3D comes down and hits a sloppy 3D to get the win.
Winners: Team 3D

-DUD, of course. Brother Ray spouts more nonsense about being "the greatest tag team that ever lived" (don't even get me STARTED on that garbage) and runs down the Nasty Boys. Bubba has an ax and promises they will get into their locker room. They break the locker room door down but get jumped by the Nasties. The Nasty Boys actually being treated as a serious tag team just drives me insane.




This was taken in 1991. 1991!!!! I was SEVEN YEARS OLD!!!!!



-Sean Morley, with Val Venis ripoff video and music, drops the HELLLLLOOOOOO before LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS to avoid copyright lawsuits. He claims his WWE name was a porn stage name and now, since he's behind the camera, he can use his real name. Well, there's a name change explanation that you won't EVER hear again. Christopher Daniels joins us to welcome Sean to TNA but it's a SWERVE and he attacks the former Big Valbowski. Morley is allowed to have a comeback this time, though.

-The TNA video production department is getting much better. I must say.

Beer Money vs. Hernandez & Matt Morgan
Sadly, I think I see the finish of this match coming a mile away. Storm snaps Hernandez's neck back and gets two but Beer Money spends too much time celebrating and Matt Morgan takes their heads off. Morgan hits a sidewalk slam for on Roode and Hernandez puts both men on the floor before following with a plancha. Rob Terry runs down for no reason and jumps Hernandez, drawing a stupid DQ.
No Contest

-The Band hit the ring (Waltman gets there first because he's the only one under 50) and destroy Beer Money. Eric Bischoff comes out and makes Hall & Nash vs. Beer Money. I should note that right before Bischoff made the announcement, Scott Hall says "The match where I drink all that guy's beer." Good to see rehab worked for you, Scott.

-NEWSFLASH! Sting is still in the rafters. NEWSFLASH! It's not 1997 anymore.

Samoa Joe vs. Desmond Wolfe
"The Pope" is on commentary to build his match with Wolfe this Sunday. Joe hammers away in the corner and snaps off a powerslam for two. He tries a rear naked choke, which is broken, but Wolfe runs into an STO to stop that comeback. Joe goes back to the well once too often though and tries the STO again, this time Wolfe catches him with a hammerlock DDT and a European uppercut in the corner. Wolfe tries the Tower of London, but Joe locks on the rear naked choke. Desmond fights towards the center of the ring, putting Joe in perfect position for the Tower of London, which gets the win.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe

-A pretty decent counter-wrestling match **1/4. Dinero is pretty damn good on the mic, which makes the way WWE handled him even stupider. Bet he's happy to get out of there...





-Backstage, Jeff Jarrett bursts into Hogan's office and says the young guys in the promotion aren't worth anything. Good to see them finally going heel with Jarrett instead of pissing around with it like last week. Bischoff basically tells him to shut up and Hulk wants to kick his ass, but Jarrett literally hides behind his lawyer.

TNA World Title
AJ Styles vs. Tomko
WOOOOOO, Ric Flair is on commentary. AJ attacks Tomko during JB's introduction and brawls with him to the outside. Styles wraps his arm around the ring and hits a dropkick while Kurt Angle makes his way to the commentary position to greet Flair. Meanwhile, Tomko hits a powerslam for two before laying in some chops. He follows with a nice big boot for two but WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK!!




Tragedy


We return with Tomko hitting another powerslam for two then resorts to blatant choking. Styles comes back out of nowhere with a enzuigiri and hits the Pele kick for the win.
Winner and STILL Champion: AJ Styles

-Not bad, but Tomko isn't a main event guy **1/2. Kurt Angle saves Styles from the post-match beatdown and wants a handshake but Styles refuses for some reason. Ric Flair finds this very interesting...I'm siding with Kurt because him and I went to the same college...




Where real men go to drink



Final Word
Obviously, not as action-packed as the live show but still a fairly decent one. TNA gets the nod over Raw because their "typical" wrestling is better than WWE's typical wrestling. TNA might get my money this Sunday, but we'll have to see...