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ringsideMAYHEM >> News Article
Mike Shannon's TNA Impact Review (Jan. 28, 2010) Written by Mike Shannon on 01/30/10
TNA Impact! (January 28, 2010)
-Yes, I realize this is 2 days late but hey, I got shit to do so BACK OFF! Anyways, I was going to watch it either way so I figured I might as well type something up for my minions.
*BREAKING NEWS* I will be starting a new feature in the reviews since I've been getting a pretty decent amount of email each week. Every column (Raw and Impact) will feature a question from one of you (yes you!) out there. Will I actually answer the question? Will I mock it uncontrollably? Will it be an awful question? Only time will tell. Get them in at dlman91@hotmail.com
-I decided to pass on TNA tickets in Pittsburgh only because some dude bought like 40 tickets at the TicketMaster I went to and there was nothing left afterwards. Oh well, guess I'll spend it on beer instead.
-Recap of last week's Montreal Screw Job ending.
Embarrassing
-Hulk and Bisch hit the ring and call out Mick Foley, who reveals he never attacked Eric. Hogan decides that Bischoff and Foley need to work things out or hit the bricks.
-Bubba the Heat Sponge has set something up for Jarrett tonight.
-Christy Hemme and her hotness are with Mr. Anderson and his open challenge to anyone in TNA. Never a good idea, Ken. Anderson just doesn't flow as well as "KENNNEDY!"
-Tenay and Taz intro the tournament to determine the number 1 contender for the World title.
Eight Card Stud Tournament Qualifier Desmond Wolfe vs. Sean Morley Winner gets a slot in the tournament at Against All Odds. They trade wristlocks and Wolfe stomps away in the corner but Morley comes back with clotheslines and a kneelift. Wolfe counters with a hammerlock DDT and goes to work on the arm. A blind charge only hits boot as the crowd openly boos Morley and a neckbreaker gets two. Full-nelson slam sets up a Money Shot attempt but Wolfe crotches him and hits the Tower of London for the win.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe
-Welcome to job duty only a month into your tenure, Sean. **1/4
-Backstage, Jarrett wants to make peace with Hogan and promises to work up the totem pole. Bischoff books him against Mr. Anderson TONIGHT...in that very ring.
-Still backstage, Flair and Styles are picking out their suits for their 30 day vacation. Space Mountain is still alive and well.
Eight Card Stud Qualifier Daniels vs. Hernandez Daniels attacks before the bell but gets kneed down and takes a delayed suplex. Daniels tries a sunset flip but gets caught and destroyed so he goes to the eyes and hits an enzuigiri for two. STO sets up a Lionsault for two and Daniels dumps Hernandez to the floor.
Hernandez shoulderblocks his way back into the ring and cleans house on Daniels, but he gets caught going to the top. Daniels tries a superplex and gets tosses off, but Hernandez misses the big splash and Daniels uses the ropes to get two. Hernandez comes back with a shoulder tackle and hits a sitout powerbomb for the win.
Winner: Hernandez
-Pretty good TV match as I am becoming a fan of Hernandez's work. **3/4
-Mike Tenay mediates a "debate" between the Nasty Boys and Team 3D. Ray wants to know where they've been for 10 years. The answer: Walking with a cane on "Hogan Knows Best" of course. Various insults are thrown and yada yada yada I don't care.
-Backstage, the Beautiful People say something.
Might have become my new favorite
-Back in Bischoff's office, he fires Bobby Lashley and has security kick him out.
The Beautiful People vs. Awesome Kong, Hamada, & Tara Hamada literally kicks Madison's ass and works the arm with a ropewalk spinning armdrag...very nice. Rayne comes back and the heels trade off on Hamada's arm. Hamada finally breaks and Tara comes in to slug away and hit a standing moonsault for two. Cheap shot from Velvet turns the tide and puts Tara in the face in peril role.
Another heel beatdown allows for a blatant camera shot of Velvet's ass while Kong gets the hot tag and she destroys everyone. Hamada comes back in with stiff kicks that lays out everyone and allows for the moonsault on Lacey. Madison takes advantage of a referee distraction and clocks Hamada with the ugly stick to get the pin.
Winners: The Beautiful People
-The beatdown with the stick continues so Angelina Love runs down and clears the ring. She really needs to eat a burger or something. I enjoy Hamada's work **.
-Backstage, Earl Hebner tries to lie his way out of the screwjob mess. Hebner finally admits he did it for the money that Flair gave him. Hogan suspends him and kicks him out. Earl really should never be asked to act again.
-Still backstage, AJ continues his piss-poor Ric Flair impression.
-STILL backstage, Bubba the Heat Sponge and Mick Foley discuss Bischoff.
-Clarion alumni and Pittsburgh native Kurt Angle hits the ring while Taz informs us that Kurt has been granted an Eight Card Stud Qualifying match by Hogan. Angle is disappointed in AJ Styles and that Ric Flair is just using him. Before Angle leaves, Hulk comes to ring and is pissed off about getting spit on, so Kurt apologizes.
-As Hulk is leaving, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman attack Kurt from behind.
-After a commercial, Hall and Waltman are tosses from the building but promise to return next week. Only in wrestling could 2 people be on TV bitching about how they are never on TV.
Brian Kendrick & The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me & Amazing Red Kendrick goes nuts on Red before the bell but misses a blind charge takes a dropkick. The Machine Guns run in but their double team fails so Generation Me checks in with their SWANK double team moves for a two count on Sabin. The Guns and Generation Me trade off some ridiculous double team moves until Red comes back in and rattles off some kicks on Sabin. The Guns get rid of Generation Me and double team Red but Kendrick blind tags himself in and gets the pin on Amazing Red.
Winners: Brian Kendrick & The Motor City Machine Guns
-A spotfest and impossible to recap properly, but really impressive to watch. ***
-Post-match, the British Invasion beat down Amazing Red but they force Rob Terry to give the title shot to Doug Williams.
TNA X-Division Title Amazing Red vs. Doug Williams We only see the end with Williams hitting the Chaos Theory and winning the title.
Winner and NEW Champion: Doug Williams
-No secret here, Terry is pissed. DUD
-Backstage, Mick Foley basically says he's going to quit but Bischoff forces him to stay by threatening to fire Abyss and Jeremy Borash.
-The camera follows Bischoff to AJ's dressing room, where he informs the champ that everyone has to be ready for Against All Odds.
Ken Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett Jarrett gets no entrance music or pyro to show he's at the bottom of the pile. Slow start as they do real basic stuff (headlocks, shoulderblocks, etc.) and Anderson starts slugging away. Jarrett comes back with a pair of hiptosses and a dropkick before clotheslining Anderson to the floor but WE GOTTA TAKE A BREAK!!!
We come back with Anderson running Jarrett into the post and introducing Jeff's hand to the ring steps. Back in, a hammerlock suplex gets two and he goes to work on the arm with an armbar DDT for another two. Anderson grabs a sleeper but turns it into a top wristlock to stay on the arm. Another Jarrett comeback is answered by a shoulderblock for two but Anderson makes the mistake of going to the top rope and the Swanton bomb misses. Jarrett mounts the comeback and fights out of the Mic Check and tries the Stroke, but Anderson goes low and rolls him up for the win.
Winner: Mr. Anderson
-Total old-school match with the Jarrett comeback spots and Anderson working a body part. I can dig it ***1/4.
-Post-match, Anderson continues the beatdown and hits the Mic Check.
Final Word Kind of disappointed with the screwjob payoff since it seemed to be building to a big angle, but basically just written off by Hebner admitting everything. A couple good TV matches and a good main event make it an easy recommendation but they still haven't launched that big angle for their live show in March.
